Funny poems

My five kitty cats

- by Suzanne Hofbauer 63

Buster, Sparkle, Newbie, Speedy
and then there's Pixie our smallest kitty,
One, two, three and four and five,
they're so frisky, so alive.

Sparkle is my number one,
14 years old and so much fun.
Purrs and snuggles on my shoulder,
she's getting slow and somewhat older.
She meows for water from the sink,
I turn it on, for her to drink.

Speedy is my number two,
proud and handsome, I tell you!
He prances like a little pony,
and you know what? That's no baloney.
He guards the others from above,
and sometimes gives a little shove.

Newbie is my number three,
chubby, plump as one can be.
Always cleaning, always licking,
he tries to run but his paws keep sticking.
He keeps on searching for a hand,
to scratch under his collar band.

Buster is my number four,
always eating, more and more.
Loves to snack on lots of munchies,
Tender Vittles and some crunchies.
Begging, pleading, day and nights.
"Give me crunchies, or I'll bite!"

Pixie is my number five,
She jumps, rolls over, takes a dive.
Up my back, onto my shoulder,
hoping I would grab and hold her.
Then she jumps to catch a fly,
She's four months old, my sweetie pie.

Buster, Sparkle, Newbie, Speedy,
and there's Pixie our smallest kitty.
Five, four, three and two and one,
I love my kitty cats, they're so much fun.

Today the teacher farted

- by Emma Briody 61

Today the teacher farted,
It was an awful smell.
It was just like a rotting egg,
Straight from the depths of Hell!

She tried to keep it secret,
By sitting in a group.
But it was really obvious,
When she said, "Who did that poop?"

She screwed her bright, red face up,
And blamed it all on Claire.
But later when I needed help,
The stench was round her chair!

She avoided my eye contact,
And ticked my work in green.
But she knew that her body smells,
Were foul and quite obscene.

I asked her what that smell was,
She said she'd not a clue.
I hope to God that eggy smell,
Was fart and not a poo!

Today the teacher farted,
My word, what had she ate?
I'll always remember what she did,
And now I'm thirty eight!