I heard the footsteps coming and I knew this would be another long night And something inside me screamed this time it really isn't right The words he was saying were ruthless and cruel And each time he hit me I sat there and obeyed each and every rule I sat there blank faced and scared knowing that I couldn't cry For I knew what would happen if he saw the tears in my eyes
Each and every swing felt worse and worse And then all I wanted was to be dead in a hearse He got real close and whispered "Bitch I wish you weren't alive" And all I was thinking was you're right, I wish I wouldn't survive He threw against the wall then proceeded to pin me to the ground He hit me again, covered my mouth, not letting me make a sound
I started to struggle and tried to release myself of his forceful grip Then the next thing I heard was a loud, horrifying rip His hands were cold and I cringed at first touch I don't understand how a father could hate his daughter so much I froze and I couldn't believe that this was really going on I just kept looking at the clock wanting him to be gone
I tried so badly not to think of the sharp pain And this wasn't part of his usual game I closed my eyes wishing the time would just pass by And that next time I opened them I would be up in the sky He pushed harder and harder and excruciating pain was all I felt The next thing I heard was the unbuckling of his belt
Something happened inside of me that I can not explain I got this surge of energy and said "f you and your reign" Somehow, someway I got out just in time But what he had already done will never get out of my mind From then on my life has been forever changed It was like all I knew had been rearranged I hate him with everything I have in me and so much more And one day I want to end this war
Masked without a voice
- by Serena58
The truth I hold, took years to unfold, locked up and never told. Now I speak, for I am done being weak. A story I will tell, awakening the pits of hell. Pinned against the wall, being six a little small. Tongue against my chest, you can imagine the rest. Touching, feeling, my eyes rolling to the ceiling. I push away, forced down, I am here to stay and pray. Day and night, always full of fright Kissing, sucking, nonstop fucking. Crying, weeping, always happened when they're sleeping. Was I that bad of a kid? Why was I auctioned with this demon to bid? Sold to the pervert in the chair, dragged off stage by the strings of my hair. No one cares about you he said, cutting my wrist wishing I were dead. He's right you see, all these years no one gave a damn about me. A puppet I am to him, dangling from limb to limb. The Years pass on by, I have no tears left to cry. I escaped this hate, no more videos left to tape. Visits became less and less, I'm starting to grow up a mess. Drinking here, smoking there, my life is hard to share. Making friends with the junkies, parading around town like diseased monkeys. Everyday that goes by, I feel ashamed and left to die. I Tried to share my story to those I trust, But all they wanted was my lust. Met a boy, come to find out I was just his toy. I wanted to help his soul, but instead I paid his toll. Being punched in the face, always leaving with a trace. Left in harms way, wasted with no place to stay. Wondering the streets, giving myself to men with sheets. Crying while we fuck, gasping for air the more they struck. I always gave myself for free, It was you who ashamed me. No respect for myself, no metal to place on a shelf. Falling down to dirt, cloths stained, blood stained skirt. The cold making me shiver, Drinking the flask and damaging my liver. Why should I care about my life, here I go carving myself with a knife. Blood dripping down my thigh, hatred fills me like a high. All numb, can't feel a thing, the mourning doves ready to sing. I am not dead, Just hanging by a thread. The ambulance speeding so fast, all I can see is a movie of my past. All stitched up ready to go, put your cloths on you stupid hoe. Here I go this life I lead to know, take a seat and watch the show. Dancing for there eyes to see, please God set me free. A man took me home that night, my eyes sparkled full of fright. He was addicted to drugs, veins shot up, full of bugs. Leaving me in the ghettos, dreaming I was frolicking in meadows. Touched and abused I was, just so he could get a meth buzz. Smoke filled air, the smell is hard to bare. Watching him fly like a kite, he cheers me while I get fucked in the night. His eyes so black, pinning me like a thumbtack. The years passed on by, still living my past as a lie. I did survive this life, I have now retired my knife. Scars still there, people look at them and stare. I am sad at times, past full of all these crimes. Smiling to all, putting my hands out, breaking my fall. I would like to share my voice, It's up to me to make that choice.
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