Jokes quotations

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◆ Don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, don't sell drugs. The government hates competition.
- Hussein Nishah99
◆ Simba was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa.
- 98
◆ Want to hear the joke about the vacuum? Nevermind...It sucks.
- 98
◆ I can't stand people that don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're.' Their so stupid...
- 98
◆ We all hate it when we're joking around with our parents and then it turns into a life lesson.
- 98
◆ Black and Mexican jokes are all the same. Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.
- 98
◆ What do you call a computer that can sing? A dell.
- 98
◆ I had the best day ever, I ran into my ex girlfriend and her new boyfriend.......With my car.
- 98
◆ Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one?
- George Bernard Shaw98
◆ New opinions often appear first as jokes and fancies, then as blasphemies and treason, then as questions open to discussion, and finally as established truths.
- George Bernard Shaw98
◆ The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
- 98
◆ I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
- Henry Youngman98
◆ I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.
- Jack Benny98
◆ I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack.
- Demetri Martin98
◆ A guy at work went in for a competition and won a trip to China. He's out there now...trying to win a trip back!
- Jerry Dennis98

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