Jokes quotations

Page 3

◆ Don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, don't sell drugs. The government hates competition.

- Hussein Nishah99

◆ Simba was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa.

- 98

◆ Want to hear the joke about the vacuum? Nevermind...It sucks.

- 98

◆ I can't stand people that don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're.' Their so stupid...

- 98

◆ We all hate it when we're joking around with our parents and then it turns into a life lesson.

- 98

◆ Black and Mexican jokes are all the same. Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.

- 98

◆ What do you call a computer that can sing? A dell.

- 98

◆ I had the best day ever, I ran into my ex girlfriend and her new boyfriend.......With my car.

- 98

◆ Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one?

- George Bernard Shaw98

◆ New opinions often appear first as jokes and fancies, then as blasphemies and treason, then as questions open to discussion, and finally as established truths.

- George Bernard Shaw98

◆ The problem with political jokes is they get elected.

- 98

◆ I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.

- Henry Youngman98

◆ I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.

- Jack Benny98

◆ I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack.

- Demetri Martin98

◆ A guy at work went in for a competition and won a trip to China. He's out there now...trying to win a trip back!

- Jerry Dennis98