Jokes quotes

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◆ An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."
- 100
◆ I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
- Will Smith99
◆ I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
- Steven Wright99
◆ A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
- Sam Ewing99
◆ Please GOD if you cant make me slim, make my friends fat.
- 99
◆ I'm not saying my ex-girlfriend is a slut I am just saying if everyone's cock had wings she'd be a airport.
- 99
◆ Say this out loud five times fast! 'I won a math debate.'
- 99
◆ You see, the way my bank account is set up...
- Kevin Hart99
◆ I stepped on a cornflake this morning...I'm a cereal killer now!
- 99
◆ My diabetic neighbor died in his sleep. I forgot to wish him 'sweet dreams.'
- 99
◆ Obama supporters are like christmas lights. They all hang out together, half of em don't work, and the ones that do work aren't very bright.
- Mario Tomasello99
◆ Slut jokes are just whoreable.
- 99
◆ I hate cripple jokes. I can't stand them.
- 99
◆ I was going to make a gay joke...butt f*ck it...
- 99
◆ Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.
- 99

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