Hilarious christmas quotations

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◆ This year I plan to start putting off my Christmas shopping extra early.

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◆ Let's make holiday plans comprised of me nursing a hangover while watching TV at home alone.

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◆ I hope being at your parent's house this holiday break doesn't drive you nuts since you may be living there soon.

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◆ You're a hard person to half-assedly shop for.

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◆ Sorry I can't make it to your holiday party that I'm pretending to attend to get out of going to another holiday party.

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◆ Rest assured your drunken comments at the office holiday party can't be any more awkward than your sober comments in meetings.

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◆ I'm not getting you a holiday present because I know you don't like writing thank-you notes.

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◆ There's no limit to the amount of company time I'd waste shopping for your holiday gift.

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◆ I wish Santa was a one percenter.

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◆ May this be the year your significant other gives you a better gift than your Secret Santa does.

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◆ Here's hoping Santa is able to deliver all his toys before he's shot by an NRA member.

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◆ 'Tis the season to drink too much with the coworkers, family, and friends who are the reason you drink too much.

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◆ I'd gladly take your eight days of Hanukkah over our six weeks of Christmas.

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◆ I'm going to regift something special for you.

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◆ I can't wait to have a flamboyantly dressed stranger grope my children.

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