Drinking quotations

Page 3

◆ I thought such awful thoughts that I cannot even say them out loud because they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish.

- Anne Lamott99

◆ I went out with a guy who once told me I didn't need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I'm drinking so that you're more fun to be around.

- Chelsea Handler99

◆ Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.

- Steve Martin99

◆ I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn't it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ I began to think vodka was my drink at last. It didn't taste like anything, but it went straight down into my stomach like a sword swallowers' sword and made me feel powerful and godlike.

- Sylvia Plath99

◆ After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.

- Oscar Wilde99

◆ Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

- W.C. Fields99

◆ Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.

- G.K. Chesterton99

◆ Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!

- Warren Ellis99

◆ The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.

- Douglas Adams99

◆ Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home.

- Chelsea Handler99

◆ If you ever know a man who tries to drown his sorrows, kindly inform him his sorrows know how to swim.

- Pittacus Lore99

◆ I don't have a drinking problem 'Cept when I can't get a drink.

- Tom Waits99

◆ Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer... I saw the video... we need to talk.

- 99

◆ They say milk gives u strength. Drink three glasses and try moving a wall. You can't. Drink three shots of vodka and it moves all by itself.

- 99