Sarcastic sayings

Page 2

◆ If you need space, work at NASA.

- 99

◆ I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.

- 99

◆ I am sitting here looking at the most amazing person I have ever seen, smart, funny, caring, and absolutely stunning! Yes, I am looking in the mirror!

- Ash Sweeney99

◆ Women are good for 70 things, sandwiches and 69.

- Risa Schizophrenia99

◆ Let me ruin your life, let me break your heart, then I'll ask you why we can't be friends. Let me rip your world into little pieces, let me destroy who you thought you were, and then I'll ask if we can be friends.

- 99

◆ I'm not single, I'm just wait for my girlfriend to quit playing hide and seek.

- Tim Walters99

◆ When I said I'd hit that I meant with my car.

- 99

◆ Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while I take notes.

- Hussein Nishah99

◆ Why do porn sites have a 'Share to Facebook' button? Who watches porn and thinks, 'You know who'd really enjoy this? My family and friends.'

- 99

◆ Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back...So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.

- 99

◆ Please GOD if you cant make me slim, make my friends fat.

- 99

◆ I'm not saying my ex-girlfriend is a slut I am just saying if everyone's cock had wings she'd be a airport.

- 99

◆ Dear 11 year old on Facebook with 'It's complicated.' Seriously????? What did he do??? Steal your animal crackers??

- 99

◆ As I was filling up my gas tank I realized I didn't want to eat this week anyways.

- 99

◆ Oh you're talking to me, I thought you only spoke behind my back!

- 99