Absurd sayings

Page 2

◆ Just because you're beautiful and perfect, it's made you conceited.

- William Goldman99

◆ Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

- Garrison Keillor99

◆ I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral.

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ Solitude gives birth to the original in us, to beauty unfamiliar and perilous - to poetry. But also, it gives birth to the opposite: to the perverse, the illicit, the absurd.

- Thomas Mann99

◆ I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other's hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are.

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ A First Sign of the Beginning of Understanding is the Wish to Die.

- Franz Kafka99

◆ Writers fish for the right words like fishermen fish for, um, whatever those aquatic creatures with fins and gills are called. ?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.

- Woody Allen99

◆ It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.

- Woody Allen99

◆ Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

- Jon Stewart99

◆ Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can't make it today, as I have a doctor's appointment.

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair.

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.

- Groucho Marx99

◆ I only sing in the shower. I would join a choir, but I don't think my bathtub can hold that many people.?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ What does it mean to be the best? It means you have to be better than the number two guy. But what gratification is there in that? He's a loser—that's why he's number two.

- Jarod Kintz99