Unexpected sayings

Page 2

◆ Most people want to be circled by safety, not by the unexpected. The unexpected can take you out. But the unexpected can also take you over and change your life. Put a heart in your body where a stone used to be.

- Ron Hall99

◆ The expected always happens

- Benjamin Disraeli99

◆ A brick makes an excellent window cleaner, if you throw it hard enough. Before you know it, your window will look so clean you'd think it had been replaced with a new one.?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ There is only one kind of shock worse than the totally unexpected: the expected for which one has refused to prepare.

- Mary Renault99

◆ A brick could be surgically inserted in the chest of a man who needs a heart transplant. And for just $20,000 more dollars, that brick could be replaced with a new heart.?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ I'm surprised there isn't a jet airplane designed in the shape of a brick. Some people (aeronautical engineers) might say that's because bricks aren't aerodynamic. Yeah, right. I'd like to see someone make that claim as they watch a brick flying towards their face at a high velocity. ?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ A brick could be dropped on your mother-in-law's head from the height of 66.6 feet. You know, as a going away present. ?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ I always tell my students, about the biggest baddest things in life you must try to write small and light, save the big writing for the unexpected tiny thing that always makes or breaks a story.

- Pam Houston99

◆ A blanket would be a great surface to print my new book on, so you could read it in bed while you're having boring, obligatory sex with your spouse, who's as dry and exciting as a sack of flour. ?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ A blanket can be wrapped around one's head and used as a helmet. It's particularly appropriate if you wear your blanket helmet during a pillow fight with me, because unbeknownst to you, I'll have a brick stuffed at the bottom of my pillowcase.?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ A blanket could be drenched in water, frozen, and then enjoyed like a giant cotton popsicle by prisoners of a gulag, who might consider this a tasty treat compared to what they normally eat. ?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ A blanket and a brick could be put in a ring and paid to fight. Compared to MMA, it would be boring. But compared to boxing, it would be downright thrilling. ?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ A blanket could be used as a duvet, in the fight against elitism.?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ A brick could be affixed to each end of an axle, for an example of transportation in a pre-wheel society. ?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ A brick is to a blanket, as the moon is to Sun Tzu. Fear my fearlessness!?

- Jarod Kintz99