Strange sayings

Page 2

◆ I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral.

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ I want to meet a guy named Art. I'd take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and leave.

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair.

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ I only sing in the shower. I would join a choir, but I don't think my bathtub can hold that many people.?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ Almost everything strange washes up near Miami.

- Rick Riordan99

◆ She says he says, but she could be lying to me, and he could be lying to her, so I can't believe her, even if I could believe her.

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ The morning always has a way of creeping up on me and peeking in my bedroom windows. The sunrise is such a pervert.

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ He had a new girl, and I told him she looked like Marilyn Monroe. He smiled because he thought I meant she was beautiful, and I smiled because I meant she looked like a corpse.

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ Some people try to change the world one life at a time. Others try to change the world one death at a time. And I try to change the world one bucket full of dirt at a time.

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ Like Alexander the Great and Caesar, I'm out to conquer the world. But first I have to stop at Walmart and pick up some supplies.

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ Don't try to hog loneliness and keep it all to yourself. Share it with a special someone.

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ It is very strange that the years teach us patience - that the shorter our time, the greater our capacity for waiting.

- Elizabeth Taylor99

◆ If love were a dolphin with wings and a unicorn's horn, being ridden by a blind leprechaun dressed like Rasputin, would you believe in second chances for love at first sight?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ You are terrifying and strange and beautiful. Something not everyone knows how to love.

- Warsan Shire99

◆ I want to mail my mailman something. He always brings me mail, yet I never give him any mail. Maybe he will appreciate the thought, or maybe he will feel I am making more work for him.

- Jarod Kintz99