Sex sayings

Page 2

◆ They say you shouldn't lie to your doctor. But admit it, if they ask if you've ever had sex, and your mom is right there, you're gonna say no.

- Risa Schizophrenia99

◆ Men use love to get sex. Women use sex to get love. Me? I use coupons to get pizza...

- 99

◆ At the store buying 50 condoms. 2 girls behind me started laughing. I turned around and looked them in the eyes and said, 'Make it 52.'

- 99

◆ I'm not saying my ex-girlfriend is a slut I am just saying if everyone's cock had wings she'd be a airport.

- 99

◆ If you're born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a 'Bang.'

- 99

◆ If she thinks 69 is just a number, she's too young for you bro.

- 99

◆ Ever had sex while camping? It's fucking in tents.

- 99

◆ I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you are good with grammar you will get it.

- 99

◆ Girls are the best vehicles in the world because: 2 beautiful headlights in front, 2 great bumbers at the back, self-lubricating when hot, finger touch ignition automatic engine oil change every month. any type of pistons fit, multiple seating styles & adjustments. great accessories, automatic and manuall drive from both sides. ready 4 test drive any time.. ;)

- 99

◆ My girlfriend caught me blow drying my penis...She asked what was I doing. Apparently, 'heating up your dinner' wasn't a sexy answer.

- 99

◆ Men were born between a woman's legs and spend the rest of their lives trying to get back in them. There's no place like home.

- 99

◆ I didn't scream out someone else's name during sex...I was just thinking of baby names in case you get pregnant.

- 99

◆ Everybody knows somebody who's Facebook relationship status should be 'Still banging my ex.'

- 99

◆ Pregnancy tests should read: You're Screwed! or Keep Screwing.

- 99

◆ Sex is like math: You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply.

- 99