Satire quotations

Page 3

◆ Which of us is happy in this world? Which of us has his desire? or, having it, is satisfied?

- William Makepeace Thackeray99

◆ If this is the best of possible worlds, what then are the others?

- Voltaire99

◆ Actors are so fortunate. They can choose whether they will appear in tragedy or in comedy, whether they will suffer or make merry, laugh or shed tears. But in real life it is different. Most men and women are forced to perform parts for which they have no qualifications. Our Guildensterns play Hamlet for us, and our Hamlets have to jest like Prince Hal. The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.

- Oscar Wilde99

◆ Welcome to Hell. Here's your accordion.

- Gary Larson99

◆ There were people who believed their opportunities to live a fulfilled life were hampered by the number of Asians in England, by the existance of a royal family, by the volume of traffic that passed by their house, by the malice of trade unions, by the power of callous employers, by the refusal of the health service to take their condition seriously, by communism, by capitalism, by atheism, by anything, in fact, but their own futile, weak-minded failure to get a fucking grip.

- Stephen Fry99

◆ Mysteries force a man to think, and so injure his health.

- Edgar Allan Poe99

◆ The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson99

◆ Man is an artifact designed for space travel. He is not designed to remain in his present biologic state any more than a tadpole is designed to remain a tadpole.

- William S. Burroughs99

◆ Clever is when one is crafty enough to mistake your imagination for intelligence. Smart is when one assumes they are too educated to notice the difference.

- Kerry E. Wagner99

◆ Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence.

- Ambrose Bierce99

◆ Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.

- Ambrose Bierce99

◆ My pen shall heal, not hurt.

- L.M. Montgomery99

◆ Boggle with sex addicts is up there with go-kart racing with junkies.

- Russell Brand99

◆ Some men are born sodomites, some achieve sodomy, and some have sodomy thrust upon them...

- Aleister Crowley99

◆ I was trying to have an insight, and all I could think of was that I'd backed myself into a corner, and the corner was me.

- John Welter99