Drunk sayings

Page 2

◆ The moon looked like melted mozzarella to my bleary and blurry vision. Was I tired, intoxicated, or in love? Or was I sober, asleep, and alone??

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ People are talking about immigration, emigration and the rest of the fucking thing. It's all fucking crap. We're all human beings, we're all mammals, we're all rocks, plants, rivers. Fucking borders are just such a pain in the fucking arse.

- Shane MacGowan99

◆ They're professionals at this in Russia, so no matter how many Jell-O shots or Jager shooters you might have downed at college mixers, no matter how good a drinker you might think you are, don't forget that the Russians - any Russian - can drink you under the table.

- Anthony Bourdain99

◆ Needy people are like newborns, I have come to realize. One intoxicated night and BAM! You are stuck with this problem. You finally take it home and it wants to keep you up all night and cries when it isn't sucking on various parts of your anatomy. It wants you there for everything – rocking, feeding, burping, changing... It's ridiculous. If I wanted a kid I would have one. Until then, grow the hell up and stand on your own two feet, you little crazy.

- Chase Brooks99

◆ I thought about the days i had handed over to a bottle..the nights i can't remember..the mornings i slept thru..all the time spent running from myself.

- Mitch Albom99

◆ Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!

- John Green99

◆ Jack, you've debauched my sloth.

- Patrick O'Brian99

◆ Maybe some folks are alcoholics and others are just voluntary drunks. Maybe some folks drink due to body chemistry and others due to their lazy characters. Maybe some have drinking problems, while others have problems enough to drink.

- George Jones99

◆ and I get refill number three or four and the wine is making my bones loose and it's giving my hair a red sheen and my breasts are blooming and my eyes feel sultry and wise and the dress is water.

- Aimee Bender99

◆ There are hours for rest, and hours for wakefulness; nights for sobriety and nights for drunkenness—(if only so that possession of the former allows us to discern the latter when we have it; for sad as it is, no human body can be happily drunk all the time).

- Roman Payne99

◆ I went on a road trip with my cat, Cap'n. I would have let him drive, but he was drunk.

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ Henry shook his head, 'I was drunk,' he said, trying to sound both ashamed and firm in this belief. He remembered the rosebush incident very clearly, of course, but he knew that sneaking into the bedroom window of his fiancee's little sister wasn't something he wanted to explain to his father. Sometimes, Henry reflected, being taken for a perpetual drunk was sort of convenient.

- Anna Godbersen99

◆ If getting drunk was how people forgot they were mortal, then hangovers were how they remembered.

- Matt Haig99

◆ A fuel pump is a fountain drink machine for cars. And people who want to save the environment and get drunk and run to work.?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ It seemed that I performed better sober than drunk. Who knew?

- Craig Ferguson99