Witty facebook status quotes
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- 100◆ I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
- 99◆ Are you free tomorrow? No, Im fucking expensive.
- 99◆ Am I on facebook because I'm bored, or am bored because I'm on facebook?
- 99◆ If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.
- 99◆ I hate weddings. Old people would poke me saying You're next. They stopped when I started going up to them at funerals and poking them, saying, You're next.
- 99◆ I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.
- 99◆ Unless your name is GOOGLE...stop acting like you KNOW EVERYTHING...
- 99◆ Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway.
- 99◆ Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
- 99◆ Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
- 99◆ Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
- 99◆ War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
- 99◆ The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
- 99◆ Why is there a show called When animals attack? It should be called When stupid people go near dangerous animals.
- 99
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