Funny pilot quotes

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◆ I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.

- 100

◆ Trust your captain but keep your seat belt securely fastened.

- 99

◆ What's the difference between God and fighter pilots? God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.

- 99

◆ Things which do you no good in aviation: The sky above you. The runway behind you. The fuel still in the truck. Half a second ago. Approach plates in the car. The airspeed you don't have.

- 99

◆ Passengers prefer old captains and young flight attendants.

- 99

◆ If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter... and therefore, unsafe.

- 99

◆ If something hasn't broken on your helicopter... it's about to.

- 99

◆ Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase head wind.

- 99

◆ I know there's a lot of money in aviation because I put it there.

- 99

◆ A thunderstorm is never as bad on the inside as it appears on the outside. It's worse.

- 99

◆ It's easy to make a small fortune in aviation. You just start off with a large fortune.

- 99

◆ You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.

- 99

◆ The last thing every pilot does before leaving the aircraft after making a gear up landing is to put the gear selection lever in the 'down' position.

- 99

◆ A fool and his money are soon flying more aircraft than he can handle.

- 99

◆ A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying, and about flying when he's with a woman.

- 99