Funny new years resolution quotes

Page 1

◆ Dear God, my prayer for 2012 is a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don't mix these up like you did this year.

- 100

◆ I hope the world ends in 2012 so I can't be held accountable for my New Year's resolutions.

- 99

◆ This year, I'm just making one New Year's resolution: Stop making resolutions. My only other resolution is to quit breaking my resolutions.

- 99

◆ This year my New Year's resolution was to stop saying 'Seacrest out!' after I ejaculate.

- Zach Galifianakis99

◆ I do not make new year's resolutions. The only thing I do in excess is be awesome, I'm not going to stop that in 2012.

- 99

◆ I probably shouldn't be making any new resolutions this year...mainly because I'm still working on the ones from last year.

- 99

◆ Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

- Mark Twain99

◆ Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now averagewhich means, you have met your New Year's resolution.

- Jay Leno99

◆ I will stop peeping into my boyfriend's female friends profile on facebook.

- 99

◆ A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.

- 99

◆ My resolution is to spend less time working which means you'll have to work more.

- 99

◆ My excuses for already failing my New Year's resolution are more complicated than the fiscal cliff deal.

- 99

◆ My resolution is to get healthier while still destroying myself with alcohol and drugs.

- 99

◆ For my new year's resolution, I promise to stop correcting your terrible spelling and focus more on your horrific grammar.

- 99

◆ Sorry that, statistically speaking, you probably won't fulfill your resolution.

- 99