Funny marriage quotes

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◆ A drunken man was dreaming that he died and reincarnated on earth as a chicken. He became heavy and tried to lay an egg! He pushed and pushed and laid the 1st egg, then the 2nd. He was pushing to lay a 3rd egg when his wife screamed ''James! You're shitting on the bed!"

- 100

◆ DAUGHTER what is marriage: MOM: Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by his parents anymore........

- 99

◆ Why do women live longer than men? Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bills does.

- Nishan Panwar99

◆ Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

- Tommy Lee99

◆ True love is waking up next to your partner and thinking Well, I could smother them with a pillow or make breakfast. Sigh. Pancakes it is.

- 99

◆ A clever wife often sleeps with a stupid husband.

- 99

◆ My wife never gives up. She is so insistent that she entered the wrong password over and over again until she managed to convince the computer that she's right.

- Hussein Nishah99

◆ A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.

- Hussein Nishah99

◆ Getting married at 22 sounds a lot like leaving a party at 9:30pm.

- 99

◆ Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always wrong and the other is the wife...

- Raghav Singh99

◆ Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.

- 99

◆ When a married man talks in his sleep, it's because he finally has the opportunity to say something without the wife interrupting him.

- 99

◆ My husband and I have never considered divorce...murder sometimes, but never divorce.

- Joyce Brothers99

◆ When I propose to my future wife, I'm going to put a ring in a Pokeball, get down on one knee, and say 'I choose you.'

- 99

◆ You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere.

- Chris Rock99