Funny gay sayings

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◆ Gay Republicans, how exactly does that work? 'We disapprove of our own lifestyle. We beat ourselves up in parking lots.'

- Paula Poundstone99

◆ I'm against gay marriage. I think marriage is a sacred union between a man and a pregnant woman.

- Craig Kilborn99

◆ I was once involved in a same-sex marriage. There was the same sex over and over and over.

- David Letterman99

◆ They say you can't tell guys are gay just by looking. But if two guys are kissing, you can figure at least one of them is gay.

- Bill Braudis99

◆ In denial about my being gay. I wasn't afraid of the dark, I was afraid of unflattering light.

- Bob Smith99

◆ The Kinsey Institute says gay men have bigger sex organs. Hence the origin of gay pride.

- Jay Leno99

◆ My brother is gay and my parents don't care, as long as he marries a doctor.

- Elayne Boosler99

◆ I thank God for creating gay men. Because if it wasn't for them, us fat women would have no one to dance with.

- Roseanne Barr99

◆ The sodomy laws have been overturned, so now we can overturn each other.

- Craig Kilborn99

◆ My high school had a Head Start program for homosexuals, it was called Drama Club.

- Bob Smith99

◆ Gay marriage is spreading around the country, first Massachusetts, then San Francisco and now the small town of New Paltz, New York. The mayor said, 'If God didn't want two homosexuals to marry, He never would have made old charming farmhouses upstate.'

- Bill Maher99

◆ Homosexuality may be proscribed in the Old Testament, but it's not in the New, because I believe that Jesus was more tolerant. 'I'm bringing the water to Steve and Gary's wedding this weekend. Although I probably shouldn't turn it into a house wine: those guys know the difference.'

- Judy Brown99

◆ If they don't want us in the military, then I say that straight men shouldn't be allowed to be florists and straight women can't be UPS drivers.

- Danny Williams99

◆ The Religious Right dislikes both abortions and homosexuality. But who has fewer abortions than gays?

- George Carlin99

◆ The church says we should get down on our knees and repent. Well, excuse me, but didn't being on my knees cause most of my sins?

- Bob Smith99