Clever facebook status quotes

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◆ Admit it, at least once in our life we have all tried to balance the light switch between the on and off position.

- 100

◆ That awkward moment when an ugly person says I need my beauty sleep when they really need to hibernate...

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◆ Rearrange these words: 1) PNEIS 2) HTIELR 3) NGGERI 4) BUTTSXE... Did you read: Spine, lither, ginger and subtext? Naughty Naughty.

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◆ When I'm sad I just sing, and then I realise my voice is worse than my problems.

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◆ I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, Hello? As if the bad guy is gonna be like, Yeah, I'm in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?

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◆ Did you know that "Dammit I'm Mad" spelled backwards is "Dammit I'm Mad?"

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◆ I've always wanted to spin around in a chair & say: "Ive been expecting you..."

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◆ I won't take a bullet for anyone because if I have time to jump in front of a bullet...you have time to move.

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◆ Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

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◆ The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

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◆ Dont let your ears witness what your eyes didn't see...& don't let your mouth speak what your heart doesn't feel.

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◆ I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.

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◆ Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.

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◆ I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.

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◆ Better late than never, but never late is better.

- Drake99