Medical sayings

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◆ When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

- Rodney Dangerfield99

◆ The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.

- Voltaire99

◆ As a surgeon you have to have a controlled arrogance. If it's uncontrolled, you kill people, but you have to be pretty arrogant to saw through a person's chest, take out their heart and believe you can fix it. Then, when you succeed and the patient survives, you pray, because it's only by the grace of God that you get there.

- Mehmet Oz99

◆ Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

- Anton Chekhov99

◆ A physician is not angry at the intemperance of a mad patient, nor does he take it ill to be railed at by a man in fever. Just so should a wise man treat all mankind, as a physician does his patient, and look upon them only as sick and extravagant.

- Lucius Annaeus Seneca99

◆ You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.

- Earl Wilson99

◆ The human body experiences a powerful gravitational pull in the direction of hope. That is why the patient's hopes are the physician's secret weapon. They are the hidden ingredients in any prescription.

- Norman Cousins99

◆ The mind controls so much of the body. We are much more than flesh and blood; we are complex systems. Patients do better when they have faith that they're going to do better. That's why I always tell my patients and their families not to neglect their prayers. There's nobody I don't say that to.

- Benjamin Carson99

◆ Medicine is my lawful wife and literature my mistress; when I get tired of one, I spend the night with the other.

- Anton Chekhov99

◆ The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind; the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity.

- Arthur Schopenhauer99

◆ I was always shocked when I went to the doctor's office and they did my X-ray and didn't find that I had eight more ribs than I should have or that my blood was the color green.

- Nicolas Cage99

◆ Nurses serve their patients in the most important capacities. We know that they serve as our first lines of communication when something goes wrong or when we are concerned about health.

- Lois Capps99

◆ The greatest evil is physical pain.

- Saint Augustine99

◆ Whenever a doctor cannot do good, he must be kept from doing harm.

- Hippocrates99

◆ I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.

- Groucho Marx99