Wonderful proverbs

Page 4

◆ My two legs are like one pretzel when I sit on the floor. If only love were so intertwined.

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ Broccoli, it's what's for breakfast. This morning let us make love like we're both still asleep. I'll hit the snooze if you find the lube.

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ Our love was soggy, like the biscuits I forgot to take out of the bathtub.

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ I shed my clothes like a garage doesn't shed—and a shed doesn't garage. Then we made love like neighbors, so close, yet separated by several barriers.

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ I'd rather have 100% of 5 than 50% of 10—especially with love.

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ You can't buy love, it's true. However, I am offering mine for rent. Buy one year and get the next six months at half price.

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ A crate full of discreet would appear to be empty. But it's not. It's full of my love for you.

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ Love is the only gift that's acceptable to give away as soon as you get it.

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ Two empty chairs are not a good use of space. Fill them up with love.

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ The best part about falling in love with a slab of meatloaf is now I get to use my ketchup-dispensing backpack when making love.

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ A string of burglaries is a crime necklace. Everything I have can be stolen except love, because I give it all away.

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ She wasn't much for words, but she told me she loved me in other ways, like showing me her main superpower—invisibility. I often wouldn't see her for weeks straight, and for her to show me the unshowable showed a lot of trust in our relationship.

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ Love is like a tall tree standing next to a midget. Well, it was like that, before it just walked away, leaving the midget just standing there, looking taller than normal.

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ Salsa music is best when chewing on nachos. I'm a spicy lover. Taste me and see.

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ Motorcycle helmets are bottomless. Strippers are topless. And my love is middleless.

- Jarod Kintz98