Unexpected proverbs

Page 4

◆ A brick could be placed in an empty circular room, so that when you tell a dunce to go stand in the corner, he won't feel so stupid and will know where to go.?

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ A brick could be used as a brick. Clever, right??

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ A brick could be fired out of a cannon, in an attempt to bring down a brick wall, just as index fingers could be severed and flicked at politicians, to try to correctly redirect blame.?

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ A brick could be used for pressing grapes into wine, and a magician could then cover up that wine with a blanket and turn wine into water.?

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ A brick could be wrapped in plastic and sold individually to toddlers as toys. (Warning: Bricks can be harmful if swallowed. If ingested, please contact a physician first, and then the manager of a circus.)?

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ A brick is what the aliens gave me to communicate with them. It's easy to operate. Just go to a party, or any crowded location, place the brick on your head, and stand perfectly still until they open up lines of communication. If you talk to Egbok Wangor, tell him I want the twenty bucks he owes me—and I'll even give you a twenty percent collector's fee.?

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ A brick could be substituted in for Rhode Island as a US state, because they're roughly the same size, the have the same population (the brick may have one less person), and Grandma Kintz makes the best Excuse Soup in the entire state.?

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ A brick could be a politician, if you attached strings, taught it to dance, and allowed it to read a teleprompter. Remember: whether it's Republican or Democrat, it's still a brick, and it will do whatever the Mason's want it to. But if you'll excuse me, I've got to get back to work. Now, where did I leave my secret handshake??

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ A brick is what I'm voting for for President. And guess what? If you're voting for a Republican or Democrat, so are you.?

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ A blanket could be used as a water purification device. Place it between a flowing water source and your storage barrel and let the blanket filter out impurities. Then after your water is pure, drop a brick in the barrel, and let the water molecules take on a brick-like structure. Drinking this water is a great way to build up your body's defenses—especially from invading Mongol hordes from the north. ?

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ A blanket could be used to keep people warm. But take it from me: you want to freeze those dead bodies as soon as they're cold and lifeless, because you don't want the bodies staying warm and decomposing while you're looking for a place to dispose of them. ?

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ A blanket could be used to wrap up all the love I have to offer you, so it'll be easier for you to carry it across the desert. You'd better get walking, because me and my camel won't be stopping until we have to pee.?

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ A brick could be attached to a parachute and tossed out of an airplane, to test if it opens up properly. Well, the good news is the parachute worked as planned, but the bad news is the only other parachute on board is strapped to my back, and I'm afraid you're going to have to return to your seat, buckle up, and assume the crash position. And while it may not be as useful as a functioning parachute, here's a Rosary to aid you in your prayers. Also, before I jump out of the plane, I just remembered that I owe you a lot of money. Can I write you a check??

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ A brick could be substituted in for Kansas as a US state, because they're roughly the same shape, they have the same topography, and I just found Topeka without the aid of a microscope.?

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ A brick is a mythical object that empowers its handler and enables them to conquer the world and control the globe through secret occult knowledge. Just ask the Masons.?

- Jarod Kintz98