Silly proverbs

Page 4

◆ I want to gather up all the ink cartridges in the universe, because somewhere, mixed in with all that ink, is the next great American novel. And I'd love nothing more than to drink it.

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ When pain brings you down, don't be silly, don't close your eyes and cry, you just might be in the best position to see the sun shine.

- Alanis Morissette99

◆ Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries.

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ I am the broth of love. Make soup to me.

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ Love one person at a time, that's the motto I'll try to get my clones to live by.

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ If love were a dolphin with wings and a unicorn's horn, being ridden by a blind leprechaun dressed like Rasputin, would you believe in second chances for love at first sight?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ I want to spend less time talking about myself, and more time listening to what other people have to say about me.

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ I want to mail my mailman something. He always brings me mail, yet I never give him any mail. Maybe he will appreciate the thought, or maybe he will feel I am making more work for him.

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ I don't want to work a 9-5 job, because 20 hours a day is just too much.

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ My boxers should require batteries, because I'm such an exceptional lover that pizza delivery people call me for carry out. 30 minutes or less—as if!

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ Have you ever heard a blindfolded octopus unwrap a cellophane-covered bathtub?

- Norton Juster99

◆ Put your middle finger and your thumb together. And make it snappy.?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ With a palindrome of a name, like Bob, I'd be both right thinking and dyslexic. Would you love me more as a Bob, or as a Bob?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ Never dance in a puddle when there's a hole in your shoe (it's always best to take your shoes off first).

- John D. Rhodes99

◆ Board the cows! We've come to enslave your marigolds.

- Libba Bray99