Hilarious proverbs

Page 4

◆ Meat is murder. Tasty, tasty murder.

- Threadless98

◆ It was like bouncing tennis balls off a mystery piece of furniture and deducing, from the direction in which the balls ricocheted, whether it was a chair or a table or a Welsh dresser.

- Marcus Chown98

◆ Anna gave her that disjointed look with which so many people regarded Hannah, as if they has fallen too many words behind to ever catch up.

- Laura L. Sullivan98

◆ Nobody ever goes to that store to shop because it's too crowded.

- Sol Luckman98

◆ Ramon Ramon is a riot. Totally paranoid, gangsta detective. Been reading it with my girlfriend on study breaks and it always gives us a good laugh. Not usually into fiction, but i've been giving this a shot as recommended. With all the heaviness this is relief in its lightness. Go get em Ramon.

- Thomas Dekooning98

◆ tiny doesn't just sing these words - he belts them. it's like a parade coing out of his mouth. i have no doubt the words travel over lake michigan to most of canada and on to the north pole. the farmers of saskatchewan are crying. santa is turning to mrs. claus and saying 'what the fuck is that? - will grayson

- John Green David Levithan98

◆ I had a dream about you. We were running on the beach, holding hands. It was a nude beach, but we were the only ones wearing clothes. You wore a bikini, and I wore my dead grandma's dress—with my grandma still in it.?

- Jarod Kintz98

◆ I have a black belt in sarcasm, and my wit is like lightning.

- N.R. Walker98

◆ Has that obscenely rich fucker upset you again?

- E.L. James98

◆ Victoria's got her secrets. Hey, so do I!

- Si Robertson98

◆ There are few things more discomfiting than a spontaneous outburst of genuine decency from someone you're determined to dislike for no good reason.

- Gregory David Roberts98

◆ I couldn't make it in a chicken world, sir, so I hit the road in search of something better.

- John A. Heldt98

◆ Who grins in official circumstances?

- Vladimir Nabokov98

◆ I had a fair idea how it felt to get spanked with a large flat surface, and my rump clenched in sympathy.

- Rick Riordan98

◆ I'm the master of distractions. A couple of hand gestures and BAM! I'll pull the underwear clean off your butt.

- Si Robertson98