Cognitive test quotes

Page 1

◆ I'm surprised there isn't a jet airplane designed in the shape of a brick. Some people (aeronautical engineers) might say that's because bricks aren't aerodynamic. Yeah, right. I'd like to see someone make that claim as they watch a brick flying towards their face at a high velocity. ?

- Jarod Kintz100

◆ A brick could be flipped over and turned endlessly. But it still won't start your car.?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ A blanket could be used as a shield, in a fight with a cold shower. I know, because I won that battle this morning, only I wielded a sword—and an erection made of sleep. ?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ A blanket could be used to trap and contain love. I've tried other stuff, like a Ziploc bag, a can of tuna, and even a dead cat's stomach, but nothing seems to be able to hold it for very long.?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ A blanket could be used to offset things likely to set you off. When you start to get hot, just wrap yourself in a warm blanket until you're comforted and you cool down.?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ A brick could be used to sell tickets to a new sport called Glurping. If you think it sounds disgusting now, wait until you see it live!?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ A blanket could be used to stop a train. Another good thing to use would be brakes. I'll sell you a set of train breaks for the price of a warm night's sleep. ?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ A blanket could be used to make all your dreams come true. Well, not all of them. Just the ones that are happening while you are sleeping. ??

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ A brick could be used to help defeat all incumbent politicians whose last name starts with Brj and anything after that alphabetically. Since people tend to vote for the first one on the ballot, Brick would not only benefit from the stupidity of the citizenry, but the people would benefit by electing the smarter of the two candidates. ?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ A brick could be used to create a new society, a perfect society, where there is no inequality, there are no laws, and most importantly, there are no people. ?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I've been practicing my tuba, and I'm ready for a duet.

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ A brick could be used to show support for your favorite team. They want to crush their opponents, and if you've got the arm strength and accuracy, you should do everything in your power to help them do just that. ?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ The Builders are building with you in mind, dear citizen, so don't worry your tiny mind about whether the bricks they are using are going to construct schools or prisons. They won't tell, and you can't tell, so just keep watching the news and it will all be OK. ?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ A blanket could be used to help my career. Things have gone cold in this economic depression, so anything to help warm things up would be most welcomed. ?

- Jarod Kintz99

◆ People love to love, but I love to sleep, and that is why cats are closer to God than bricks are to blankets. –Cap'n Kintz?

- Jarod Kintz99