Witty facebook status proverbs

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◆ I like most people as long as they're not behind a steering wheel or a keyboard.

- 98

◆ You know what guys & parking spaces have in common? The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicaps.

- Nishan Panwar98

◆ Welcome to Facebook. The Weather today: An 80% chance of game requests, a 10% chance of pokes, and a 100% certainty of drama

- 98

◆ All our life our parents told us not to write on walls. Facebook teaches us differently.

- 98

◆ Facebook: the only book teens read these days.

- Azgraybebly Joslan98

◆ Do not touch MY iPhone. It's not an usPhone, it's not a wePhone, it's not an ourPhone. It's an iPhone.

- Ritu Ghatourey98

◆ The word swag is soo stupid. Swag is just a way for a man, to call another man sexy, and not feel gay about it.

- 98

◆ When people say life is short. What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do thats longer?

- 98

◆ Why do porn sites have a 'Share to Facebook' button? Who watches porn and thinks, 'You know who'd really enjoy this? My family and friends.'

- 98

◆ WELCOME TO FACEBOOK; The place where people add you as a friend & walk past you in the street. Where relationships are perfect, affairs are started, & liars believe they are telling the truth. Your enemies visit your profile the most, yet your friends & family block you, & even though you write what you are really thinking, someone always takes it the wrong way, & people think your status is about them.

- 98

◆ That awkward moment when sluts hate on other sluts for being sluts...

- 98

◆ There's always that one kid in PE class who thinks it's the fucking Olympics. Calm. The. Fuck. Down.

- 98

◆ I gave that bitch a plunger, 'cause bitches love bringing up old shit.

- 98

◆ You wanna cry? Try using a tissue, it works much better than your Facebook status.

- 98

◆ Hey Vegetarians, my food shits on your food.

- 98