Humorous christmas quotes

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◆ On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends-a-pokin & a creep who won't stop inboxing meeee!
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◆ I wanted to send you something AMAZING for Christmas but the mailman told me to get out of the mailbox...
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◆ This Christmas I've decided to put a mistletoe in my back pocket....so all the people I dont like can kiss my ass.
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◆ I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.
- Shirley Temple99
◆ Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
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◆ I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
- Bernard Manning99
◆ Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.
- Johnny Carson99
◆ Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is... your list with names of naughty girls.
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◆ This year, I'm going to buy all of my Christmas gifts from Nike...Made for kids by kids.
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◆ Christmas is a time when you get homesick...even when you're home.
- Carol Nelson99
◆ Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish, If it werent for Christmas, Wed all be Jewish.
- Benny Hill99
◆ The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
- George Carlin99
◆ What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
- Phyllis Diller99
◆ Dear Santa, ( ) I've been good all year. ( ) Ok most of the time. ( ) Once in a while. (X) Fuck it. I'll buy my own shit.
- 99
◆ On the 12th day of Christmas, my Facebook gave too me, 12 stupid bitches, 11 fake people, 10 FB hackings, 9 new porn websites, 8 wack statuses, 7 hoes a slurping, 6 bums a posting, 5 ignorant bastards, 4 corny birds, 3 messages, 2 ugly friends, & a girl who smashed the wholeee team.
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