Funny new year quotes

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◆ Dear January, how is February? Please tell March that April said May will come before June, I heard that July is getting married in August, how about September and her kids? Please send my greeting to October and don't forget to tell November that all our fans reading this will end December in happy mode.

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◆ I resolve to stop having meaningless sex in 2014, so I suggest you pay me a compliment or get me liquored up ASAP.

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◆ My resolution is to spend more time avoiding friends and family.

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◆ I want to kiss you at midnight and pork you at dawn.

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◆ It may be the antidepressants talking, but I'm feeling somewhat optimistic about 2014.

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◆ Now that the holiday blues are over, let's resume our everyday melancholy.

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◆ My resolution is to spend less time working which means you'll have to work more.

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◆ My excuses for already failing my New Year's resolution are more complicated than the fiscal cliff deal.

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◆ Let's never speak of 2013 again.

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◆ Wishing you even a minuscule percentage of the wealth and attention that will be showered upon the Kardashian fetus in 2013.

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◆ My resolution is to get healthier while still destroying myself with alcohol and drugs.

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◆ For my new year's resolution, I promise to stop correcting your terrible spelling and focus more on your horrific grammar.

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◆ I can't believe it's been a year since I didn't become a better person.

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◆ Gaining 20 lbs over the holidays makes your New Year's resolution of losing 10 less impressive.

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◆ Sorry you're finally mature enough to just want a quiet evening with friends on New Year's Eve.

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