Funny facebook status proverbs

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◆ Don't cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse.

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◆ Dear people who update their Facebook status every 30 seconds, there's Twitter for a reason!

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◆ Just because I like your Facebook status does not mean I want to sleep, date, or hangout with you...

- Oketa Ojok98

◆ If Facebook ever shuts down. You'll see people roaming the streets shoving pictures in others faces screaming 'Do you like this!?!?!.. DO YOU!?!?!'

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◆ Before sex.. you help each other get naked, after sex you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you're fucked.

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◆ Friends are like underwear, always near you. Good friends are like condoms, always protecting you. Best friends are like viagra, lift you up when you are down.

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◆ Roses are red, Facebook is blue, No mutual friends, Who the f*ck are you?

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◆ That awkward moment when someone comments on a really old picture and you realize they were probably stalking your page.

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◆ Life is not a garden, don't be a hoe.

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◆ If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.

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◆ Cop pulls man over for suspicion of drunk driving. Cop: Sir have you been drinking? Man: No. Cop: Papers. Man: Scissors, I win!

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◆ Unless your name is GOOGLE...stop acting like you KNOW EVERYTHING...

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◆ Facebook is like a fridge. When you're bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there's anything good in it.

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◆ Please tell your pants it's rude to point.

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◆ Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children.

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