Funny christmas card proverbs

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◆ I'd be much more into the office holiday party if my coworkers weren't invited.

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◆ I'm dreaming of a Christmas as white but not nearly as depressing as the Republican party.

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◆ This is my favorite time of year to be childless.

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◆ Whether you're offended by me saying Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas, take comfort in knowing I don't really mean either.

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◆ Let's hope the kids are stupid enough to believe Santa bought them this year's budget-conscious, crappy gifts.

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◆ May you maintain the same fake enthusiasm for the holidays as North Koreans did for Kim Jong Il.

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◆ A holiday miracle would be still fitting into my clothes after the holidays.

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◆ I hope you like the gift I took partial credit for.

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