Absurd proverbs
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- Jarod Kintz98◆ Some who have read the book, or at any rate have reviewed it, have found it boring, absurd, or contemptible, and I have no cause to complain, since I have similar opinions of their works, or of the kinds of writing that they evidently prefer.
- J.R.R. Tolkien98◆ Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
- Groucho Marx98◆ I've often wondered why more science textbooks don't tell teenagers that the only thing sharks like to eat more than fish, are dead prostitutes.
- Jarod Kintz98◆ Love one person at a time, that's the motto I'll try to get my clones to live by.
- Jarod Kintz98◆ If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?
- Jon Stewart98◆ Like Alexander the Great and Caesar, I'm out to conquer the world. But first I have to stop at Walmart and pick up some supplies.
- Jarod Kintz98◆ Beauty is a whore, I like money better.
- Michael Cunningham98◆ Every night I cuddle with a blob of unbaked clay I fashioned in the shape of a woman. But that's what being in love is all about.
- Jarod Kintz98◆ Don't try to hog loneliness and keep it all to yourself. Share it with a special someone.
- Jarod Kintz98◆ The last time somebody pointed out that cowboys ride horses, not tricycles, I shot him. Of course, I waited until another gunslinger gunned him down, but nevertheless, I still shot him.
- Jarod Kintz98◆ When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
- Steven Wright98◆ The most preposterous notion that Homo sapiens has ever dreamed up is that the Lord God of Creation, Shaper and Ruler of all the Universes, wants the saccharine adoration of His creatures, can be swayed by their prayers, and becomes petulant if He does not receive this flattery. Yet this absurd fantasy, without a shred of evidence to bolster it, pays all the expenses of the oldest, largest, and least productive industry in all history.
- Robert A. Heinlein98◆ When all else fails, there's always delusion.
- Conan O'Brien98◆ To love someone as much as you love yourself, that is the ideal. Especially if that someone is your clone.?
- Jarod Kintz98
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